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Old 09-17-2012, 05:09 PM
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jasaty jasaty is offline
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Michigan
Posts: 22

Originally Posted by GalaGirl View Post
Look, she is stating a need for a time out. LISTEN when people state their needs.
Thank you.

Originally Posted by GalaGirl View Post
DO talk in quad. AND hear out all the OTHER people's wants, needs, and limits.
I want to talk as a group, but I have a terrible time with it. It's hard for me. I don't like letting others down or them getting angry/upset with me. I know it's a part of life but I tend to beat myself up over things. I know I have to learn to not let others dictate how I feel and I am working on that. Plus, with everyone's schedules there isn't a whole lot of time where we are all home together. I know that isn't an excuse though.

Originally Posted by GalaGirl View Post
First, there needs to be a time limit. How long is the time out gonna be? A month? Is that reasonable for all til the next check in?

What is going to be allowed in the time out time? Just cuddles? All on board?

What will S be doing to deal with her issues? Can she give examples of her plan so the others can check in and hold her accountable? So she can hold herself accountable?
I had a time limit in mind that wasn't incredibly long. I have the answers to all of your questions, more or less, written in a note doc on my computer. I have been thinking about things and knew they would want answers and since I am terrible at speaking on the fly I wanted it written down somewhere.

Originally Posted by GalaGirl View Post
If she has a game plan for the time out time then YOU can feel like she's actually trying to do something rather than doing an ostrich and avoid. If she's made progress down her list by the next check in but not all there yet, the quad can chat and form the next baby step plan thing for how to best support/encourage her in the growth.
Thank you for all of your advice. It's nice to get an outside perspective on things. I appreciate it.
Sarah wife to J, girlfriend to T.
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