I'm Closed right now. But just scheduling all the other things in my life?
DH and I have a powwow by the semester. We function on the academic calendar for the most part. Treat it in chunks like fall term, spring term, summer, repeat.
- We spread out the weird FIXED things that need to be, and pin them on first. Family events, gatherings, holidays, special things (ex: concerts) that we want to hit. These cannot be on other days, they are the day they are. (ex: Christmas pageant is dec 24 without fail)
- Then the known REPEATERS (ex: church on sundays).
- Then slam in FLEX couple time for us. (A must like once a month, but can jiggle about inside the month. Not like a fixed date thing. ALONE. Without the kid. We get plenty family dates on the fly. Don't bother to sched that.)
- Then slam in FLEX "me" time for each. (a must once a week, but can jiggle)
- Then slam in the kid things. (Limited to ONE activity per term, we can't be doing the crazy taxi thing for kiddie activities. Everyone gets only ONE activity a month, though parents sometimes skip their opportunity for classes and whatnot in favor of ALONENESS.)
- Then REST days where nothing is happening. We must plan this and protect it like the holiest of holy's! We usually tell people we "have a family thing already on that day." We don't tell them it is family resting. People underrate the need for rest and overschedule themselves.
Anything else on the fly.
So really just talk to your partners and get a standing date for each so there's a pattern. If someone gets sick or something, that is fine. But at least then you know what's expected and coming WHEN.
Don't feel guilty if you see H more than D. That is just THIS term's pattern. Who knows what next term's needs will bring? Be willing to be flexible, and be willing to be ok changing it up again next term to reflect those needs THEN.