I think that, because of your history of getting jerked around in this relationship, you might be even more sensitive than the average person would be in your position. But even if that weren't the case, if something hurts you, his response should be to listen and try to respond in a way that will help, not get angry at you. He is going through something hard, but so are you, and if he expects support he must also give support.
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.