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Old 09-16-2012, 09:20 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
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Don't waste your time feeling guilty; guilt is a useless emotion and gets you nowhere. You are mourning the loss of a long-term, meaningful relationship that had its joys as well as pain, and the grief is understandable. I would think M. would have some compassion, no matter that she wasn't as much into J as you were. If she is not, that is rather a little cruel on her part.

If I were you, I would tell M., "I know it's hard for you to see me grieving J., but please be patient with me, as I am deeply feeling the loss and need your support. I will try not to be self-indulgent, but the feelings come and go in waves, and I never know when it will hit me. I will be as present for you as I can be, I just need your understanding as I work through this." Ain't nothin' wrong with asking for some loving kindness when you are in mourning!

Also,it's probably not a good idea to pick at your wounds by being in touch with J again. Let yourself go through theprocess and wait til you have more distance and stability within yourself before you go stirring up that pot again.
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Last edited by nycindie; 09-16-2012 at 09:23 PM.
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