Originally Posted by rolypoly
Can you clarify what you mean by "demonize"? It seems that you see avoiding the word "need" as demonizing it? Or that by not using the word, it implies a negative connotation?
Well .. yes to both of those. In the context of this thread, "need" = bad (at least as I am reading the various responses).
I think the statement that "X person doesn't meet all my needs" is a valid statement. So why avoid using the word, when the word has the exact meaning that you're looking for? Putting together a more complex, roundabout, wordy way of saying the same thing seems to be demonizing the word "need" ... when actually it's the exact right word for the situation.
I do have difficulty with the word as an expression of love/affection.
I agree with this. Which is why using the word in the context of "I need you" is something that people should think about more carefully. But that doesn't negate the value of the word in the sense that every person has needs.
I don't "need" any one person to live my life. I do "need" companionship, affection, and sex to be happy. Those are things I cannot provide for myself - I need someone else to provide those things for me.
All of those are valid statements and uses of the word "need" that, IMO, don't convey neediness or insecurity.