EMOTIONAL FLOODING: EMOTIONAL DRUGS IDENTIFIED
I'm not a brain scientist. But I know hormones and dump. This is your brain. This is your brain on hormone drugs! And I was mixing emotional drugs here.
Whoosh! Brain cascade!
Drug 1: Physical tiredness
. No explanation needed. We are often tired. Trying to work on that. Nobody performs well exhausted. Do not drive Big Conversation while exhausted.
Drug 2: Feeling gushykooshy tender emotions.
The bittersweet sweets are fun tender moments to feel. But are FRAGILE tender moments because of the Shared Vulnerable. (And more so because this time it gushykooshy in my public thread, where people can peek at my panties. I allow it but still different than totally private gushykooshy because on some level I feel exposed.)
Drug 3: Feeling extreme frustration with a work situation.
This is a hard leash for me to hold because I am tempted to snap it and let that dog run off into the Angry place. Sometimes anger can be harnessed for the forces of good -- energize you to ACT for instance. In this work situation, that's the wrong crayon to use. So cannot risk letting the dog go there. Down dog. Sigh.
Drug 4: Escalating stress.
Just adds to the ugh. I wonder if by the time I am feeling the stress in my stomach that's the brain dump of the adrenalin/cortisol/fight-flight thing? I want to learn my PHYSICAL tells. A warning bell like that would be so useful. But I can't see me. There's not always a mirror. I wonder if DH could help me there? Report what he sees?
So the take home lessons?
- Go easy at the end of the day. We are both eager to connect to each other emotionally and mentally. But we're also both not feeling fresh or at our best. Don't talk about bad trigger things when tired and emotionally fragile! Even if the fragile is from gooshykooshy yummies. Fragile is fragile!
- Good habit to develop -- Finish bucket checks first before going deep into ANY one bucket.
- Don't mix body and emotional drugs when fragile or else you may get an unexpected synergystic effect.
- Call a "time out" when experiencing flooding. Go check playbook. Bookmark always an option. Make appointment for delving deeper if needed in other areas.
- Look for the pat on the backs for ME -- Which I articulated to him.
- Look for the pat on the backs for HIM -- I will articulate this to him verbally in a minute when I go to bed but here in this entry?
Thanks, hon. You were stern with me even if I get all stroppy about it in the moment. But it really does help me to clarify and get myself OFF that train a lot faster.
I will get miffed/mad at you in the moment, but overall it's shorter, endurable on my end and hopefully I don't blow at you too badly.
It's using my temper in constructive ways -- applying the anger toward getting OFF the crazy train. Rather than keeping me ON it.
INTERRUPTION IN THOUGHT FLOW FROM INAPPROPRIATE HUMOR AT WRONG TIMES BOARD MEMBER:
Would have been waaaaay more interesting/fun to keep the drugs the same and if feeling the intensity amp up in heart bucket in that moment, to choose to expression of it in getting all *ROWL* in the shower. Whee! Shower sex!
Rather than choose expression of it in weird venting/crazy that domino effects into emotional flooding.
But we learned something today. So yay.
Humor Lady: NOW let's figure out when the *rowl* can happen.
Shut up! Maybe. I like shower sex. Hrm...