M & I are closer than ever now. But now I feel like I'm being unfair to her by being unhappy at all dealing with this shattering loss...I make an effort to be affectionate and loving . To show m how important she is to me & how much I appreciate the support she's giving me during this rough patch.
It is what it is. You had a break up. You are going to feel all the stages of grief.
Sometimes just understanding the stages helps because you know what will come next.
If you are having a super hard time -- get a check up. Mention the loss of sleep to doctor and any other symptoms and see what can be done for your self care in a super stressy time.
Just tell M where you are at. That you care for M, love M, and appreciate M for enduring with you. That you are at whatever number you are at in the grieving process. Report your internal weather as it happens -- and what you might need. If you do not know what you need, just state that. "I feel torn up inside. I'm not sure what I need. Just be with me."
Sometimes the ministry of being present is enough.
Hang in there.