Originally Posted by Jayehare
. . . if I am to move this into legit poly territory, then honesty about what happened is a must.
Isn't honesty a must whether you are poly or mono or whatever? Are you willing to be truthful only if it gets you what you want?
Hey, I grew up in a very small town, I know what they're like, but no matter what environment you're in, you can hold your head up high if you act ethically. Hiding a secret makeout session, furtively lusting after someone in the shadows, and lying by omission isn't really that, is it?
And you can't really just "move this into legit poly territory" by yourself - it seems pretty obvious that a poly arrangement won't happen unless you, hubs, L, and his partner all sit down, in each dyad and together, work it out, and agree to it. Honestly, that could take months or even years for all four of you to get to that point, if ever. Are you going to wait around for that to happen before acting with total honesty? Somehow you are still stuck in fantasy-land, it seems.