Originally Posted by Jayehare
There are kids involved, and L has made it clear that his relationship isn't that strong right now. He's afraid that his partner (they aren't married, not that that matters much) would take his daughter and prevent him from seeing her and being the father he wants to be. . . . I do think my guy would be able to handle it and forgive me. I'm not certain about L's situation .... and I do care about his situation.
Well, if that's his excuse for not being honest, he should've thought about his daughter before playing kissyface with you. But why are you taking on his responsibility instead of your own?
YOU only need to come clean to your husband. You have a commitment to honor. L is responsible to come clean to his partner, and if he doesn't do that, it is not your issue to handle. Yes, you can be concerned about L, but you need to bring your focus back to the person you betrayed! You owe your husband honesty. Have you ever read Journey of the Heart
by John Welwood? In it, the author talks about how crucial it is to be fully honest with your partner for intimate relationships to thrive, deepen, and be a source of personal growth. I recommend that book, btw!
Manage your relationship with hubs, and let L manage his relationship with his partner. If he does not want to broach opening up with her, and coming clean about you, then I think it is best you don't see him and risk temptation anymore.