I don't think waiting til after the wedding to discuss it is a bad thing.
Waiting til emotions calm down to discuss more calmly how this played out, where it could have been better, and how to treat you better in future with a calm, clear head is better than picking at it in the midst of hullabaloo.
Let it go for now and work on your communication skills if you want to become more assertive.
Then when they are back, talk it over in quad. No more triangulation -- just everyone on the same page. Work on your TMI boundaries and how you want to be with each other moving forward.