Originally Posted by Sisyphus
If someone is actively involved with multiple partners, sexually and romantically, but is emotionally incapable of allowing these partners the same freedom, is that person truly polyamorous?
In a word no.
POLY - many, AMORY - LOVE
That is SELF LOVE. Someone who is in deep committed love with themselves will do anything for that love. From bathing in sacrificial virgin blood as in the middle ages to sexual belt notching dominance.
In his defense LOVE can mean the act of copulation. Like how Achilles fought an Amazon in the Illiad, slew her, then fell in "love" with her afterward. In that case necrophilia can be considered love, rape, bestiality, pedophilia ect. Just about any thing involving genitalia and something else. You and a blender(if male), or a knife(if female) for example.
I did not approach polyamory from any modern experimental living it way. When I met my first poly and they tried to ask me to join them, I read about the philosophy and history of it for the past 400yrs or so. A big undertaking and I mostly focused on the successes but the failures paint our histories brightly.
My only question if you care to consider it is do you care about him enough to tolerate that? Overlook that failing if you will.