I gotta ask, why are you married to someone who used to hurt you, when you're not interested in each other? What do you two get out of this? Maybe it was just a mistake?
Don't drag another person into this mess until you sort yourselves out, it's not fair.
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.