2 other encounters. What does that mean exactly ....just more kissing or full on sex.?
You want him to be honest and up front with his wife yet you aren't with your husband. You are letting him believe this is coming from some theoretical place.....isn't that dishonest.
If roles were reversed would you want to be treated like this......being sold this as a means to an end.
I think you need to tell him the complete truth then he can make an informed decision on what's right for him. After being truthful an honest with your husband and working out the aftermath if there is any .....then you can look to your bf to do the same with his spouse.
Good luck D