Well, I told G I wanted the info disclosed, she gave her blessing that I could tell it, and I am going to let her tell her side to K on her own time. Email sent, cat's out of the bag. Will let you know how it pans out.
Thanks to all of you for bringing me back to earth. I agree, I'd want to know if I were a third. I just wasn't sure if there was a school of thought where thirds prefer DADT... I suppose cheating wouldn't be one of those things no matter what, in poly. Hah.