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Old 09-12-2012, 06:07 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 6,134



I go through times of feeling like I've gone full circle. I have to remind myself each time that is is NOT going around in circles.

It's the Cosmic Spiral thing, you come around again but have leveled UP so you can revisit the same places from another angle of experience and perspective.

On the drive home I saw two butterflies fitting about each other. My Internal Brain Board of Trustees all shouted with glee simultaneously
Ms Logic and Hard Facts : Look! Two neon yellow butterflies flitting about each other while flying along at the same time! Right there on the side of the road!

Ms Safety: Ok, look. But don't stare long because you drive so pay attention to driving!

Ms Heart Bucket Kooshy: Awww. They are making love in midair because they are besotted with one another right now.

Ms Body Bucket Pleasures: Wish I could do that like that with DH. Dude. Making love in midair while flying self propelled -- THAT'S a rush.

Ms Soul Bucket: Yep. That's another couple -- spinning dragon/phoenix double helix Life Thread together there.

Ms Mind Bucket (Academic): Buttterfly probably mating? I wonder how long they live? How many times do they do that? Do Butterflies feel emotion that is measurabale or discernable by humans? Do other bugs? Where did they come from? Where will they go? What does the world look like through butterfly eyes?

Ms Innapropriate Humor at Bad Times: Hehehe. Butterfly jizz. Butterfly BDSM.

{ Observation from the outer METAME: Yup. Butterflies. And all the above. It satisfies.}

And hearing the hubub the Reassure Queen woke up long enough to peek at butterflies too over the MetaMe shoulder. And announced at random
  • You are well.
  • All is well with the world.

And went back to sleep.

And MetaMe arched an eyebrow. Privately thinking

"I am the MetaMe, dumbass. I KNOW all is well with the world. Why do you tell me? Tell THOSE BOT people more often when they get into tumult."

So after that split second of my brain fanning out into various facets of myself and then snapping back together again inside my head my next thought was...

"I wonder what causes this fan fold/unfold thing in my head? Neuroscience wise? And will I feel a surge soon?"

I kept driving. And about 5 min later I felt this elated glowing feeling of joy. Not like "WHEEEE!" hyper happy. And not like "Yay!" open happy. More like dawn breaking softly happy.

And I thought "Yup. There it is. Brain cascade. Which one is that one?"

So much of self care if knowing what action to do or thought to think to push the right brain cascade button so you get the right brain chemistry thing going on to get the right kind of hit.

The brain is an amazing thing.

But the Reassure Queen that is me? Lately been all mellow and calm and can afford to take a nap. That's a good thing. It means the

Anxiety/Panic Freak is relatively quiet and giving it a rest already. Usually Reassure Queen has to run around behind Anxiety/Panic Freak to cancel it out.

It's nice to have Reassure to spare and be able to give it elsewhere and pay it forward.

(Excerpt from this thread.)

Nobody ever died from going SLOW and easy at letting their polyship unfold. BREATHE.

You do not have to be expert. You have to be honest, open, and communicative.

Here's my poly playbook for how I stay in right relationship.

Apart from reading posts here, and books like Opening Up or Ethical Slut I would suggest online resources like

The Opening Up website that matches the book has some free worksheets you could think about doing too in preparation.

I really donít want to have to considered what Iíd do if either of them told me I had to choose.
Easy. Each one of you?

You choose YOURSELF and what is best for your health buckets in the long run -- mental health, emotional health, physical health, and spiritual health.

Everyone holds their own bag(gage).

You do not need to fear conflict.

Conflict is simply people in disagreement. It is opportunity for growth and better understanding of self/others.

You could use conflict resolution methods to try to find the happy medium. We don't all have to have the happy STUPENDOUS each time.

Or you could agree to disagree and let it go.

Nobody is conflict FREE. Except dead people! (I joke to keep it light. )

The goal is not to be conflict free but to handle the conflicts that pop up (and they will --- Life IS) with some ability and grace so you all fly your polyship together WELL.

You will be ok.

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