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Old 09-12-2012, 05:28 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 3,023
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1) You are over thinking it.

2) Stop measuring love or trying to measure it. Just let it be what it IS.

3) Why can't you say to Honey Bunny -- "Oh, Honey Bunny! You have all my Honey Bunny love! Wheeeee!" Because you hold nothing back from loving Honey Bunny.

4) Why can't you say to SweetiePie -- "Oh, SweetiePie! You have all of my SweetiePie love! Wheeee!" Because you hold nothing back from loving Sweetie Pie.

5) Do you hold anything back from loving YOURSELF? (I suspect you might somewhere.)

A STORY

When I was a hinge, it would pain me when BF2 would call be "Dearest GalaGirl" because exBF used to call me that and that break up was horrible and painful.

I explained that inittiall and BF2 accepted it and rolled with it a while.

Then it came up again later he would express himself and call me "Dearest GalaGirl" and when I'd protest anew?

He firmly told me "That is ridiculous. You ARE my dearest GalaGirl, and I'm NOT going to limit the expression of MY feelings for you just because you have some weird hang up thing still leftover from some ex. I'm NOT going to stop calling you my dearest because you ARE my dearest. So THERE. Even if right now you are being my most dearest GalaGirl pain in the ass. I STILL love you. Try to stop me! Sheesh!"

And I laughed.

And he was right.

So did the inner work I needed to do to be able to let "leftover breakup exBF feelings of ugggghhh" go so I could enjoy BF2 without exBF ghost hovering around bugging me/him/us.

Interestingly it was never a direct issue with BF1 (now DH) because he NEVER calls me by name! Even after almost 20 years together! Though I'm sure he benefitted from my having done that work and relaxing more into the relationship with him too.

He calls me "hey you!" with a grin of affection. Or he calls me made up names. "Babe" is the mildest and probably most common in love language parlance that I can see. My sister is also "Babe" to her hubby. But I seriously doubt he's calling her things like I am called -- monkeybutt, pumpkinhead, foghorn, hobbitfeet, etc.

DH has odd humor and what is endearing to him about me just is what it is.

And among what endears HIM to me? Is that very odd sense of humor. LOL.


A SUGGESTION

Quote:
I know that love is not a finite thing, but I don't feel entitled to use that language.
Dig deeper there and figure out why that pings you. Why DON'T you feel entitled?

Why is your expression style of your own love feelings not enough for YOU?

Why is it in competition with how your Others express themselves in THEIR style? OR what about their style is bothering you?

GG

Last edited by GalaGirl; 09-12-2012 at 05:46 PM.
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