Jasaty, have you guys talked about one cohesive set of house rules that apply to all children? If TGIB's children ever came to live with us it would be a struggle to find a middle ground between the the way his children have been raised and the way I want to raise my children. One of the reasons we do not plan on co-parenting is that our styles are SO different, so if he had more than weekend custody of his kids he and they likely would not live with us except as a short-term thing. I don't think it's fair to have some kids in a household allowed to do something that is not allowed for the others (beyond age-appropriate restrictions), and that's what would end up happening, since we have differing opinions on what is and is not okay in terms of behavior and activities and what appropriate consequences are.
Pan Female, Hinge in a V between my mono (straight) husband, Monochrome and my poly (pan) partner, ThatGuyInBlack