hi. i am in a relationship with a man who i have been thinking of as my primary, although this is currently up for debate.
until recently we called each other primary partner, and described ourselves as being non-monogamous.
throughout our relationship my partner has had one-night and sometimes a handful-o-nights stands but no full other relationship. i've been with my partner (16 months).
recently my partner had an encounter with someone which brought to the fore his desire to be polyamorous.
i got very envious and jealous.
i was envious because he gets to play with women often and i haven't been with a women in two years
i was jealous because i felt like i was going to lose his attention and that i was no longer desired/desirable.
despite all this i have recently realised how important this polyamory ideal is to me, and how much i don't want to deal with my envy and jealousy by trying to control my partner or by breaking up. i want to deal with them as challenges and opportunities to learn.
i need to somehow find time to get out and meet women, i also need to work on my feelings about myself a bit more. that's kinda how i ended up surfing the net and joining this group...