Anyway, it was a learning experience for all of us. I personally will never assume that just because someone has told me about some of their recent partners, that I know about all of them.
Yup. I agree never assume.
I'm sorry your spouse is hurting by her flying into a rage. But we cannot control other people's emotions or their behavior in response to that emotion.
We cannot control how WE feel or what emotion bubbles up. The only thing we can control is how WE behave and he did beautifully given the circumstances.
He stated his wants, needs, and limits clearly on the situation by email. He has done nothing wrong.
And she's behaving bad when fairly called into account. I hope he sees that.