Maca is off at hunting camp with Sweet Pea and dad.
they are having lots of fun.
I took advantage of my alone time this evening to get some writing done. Some was just for me and my own entertainment, some was for the purpose of sharing my thoughts with Maca (via my personal blog). All of it helped me to center myself.
I also took time to peruse our current boundary agreements. They are admittedly written more 'long hand' than Galagirls. Lol! But, they do cover all the bases.
September is our month to 'reassess' and potentially renegotiate (every 3 months), which is what provoked me going over them. I am primarily content with them, no changes I feel I need. But, our agreement focuses primarily on others. I would like to add to the beginning a mission statement of sorts for us. I think I would like to incorporate into it some of the concepts that Galagirl hs addressed so well on here!
It isn't because I feel we are failing to do these things, but, like one of her posts points out, I too like to hear it, see it. I like the reminders. I would find it reassuring to be able to glance at our agreement, especially in times fraught with stress, and read a clear cut paragraph detailing what our commitment to each other is. It's been so vague and unspecified since I cheated.
I hope when Maca returns home we will have a chance to curl up together in bed and framework that.
I did not write in the blog (which he reads-this one he generally does not) that so much has progressed within our personal relationship that I find myself strongly interested in returning to discussion to the topic of our D/s and what safe steps forward we can make.
We didn't pull back from it completely. But, we did back up significantly with the breaches of trust in our basic relationship. It is impossible for me to gives full trust to him with D/s if he is lying (even by omission) in any aspect of our relationship. This includes self disclosure to me regarding his needs.
These things I require for my safety. Without them I was forced to pull back in D/s. it's been a long wait. Over a year. But, much progress and change has happened. I think I am ready to renegotiate hard and soft limits for D/s. i just need to sit down and establish where I think I am at, what my current hard limits are, a timeframe for renegotiating (not sure 3 months is realistic atm, may need to be weekly or monthly for awhile), and soft limits with a lost of desirable activities and fequency.
Then, give it to him for consideration before discussion.
Much food for thought this month.