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Old 09-11-2012, 02:19 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 5,510

If you’re kinky, have you found that kink levels decrease as you get closer/cuddly/more emotionally intimate? Or is it more of a “wax and wane” over the course of time?
Definitely wax and wane.
There are times when we're very cuddly and others we're totally kinky. Then there are in between times. It has a lot to do with what is going on in our lives with work, house guests, kids, school etc. But, it never goes away, it does have an ebb and flow.
(same with non-kinky sex actually)

Is it often the case that when you meet new sexual partners you direct more extreme sexual behaviour towards them and away from the primary relationship?
Not for me. When I am sexually interested in someone else, I tend to be MORE sexual with my dh. If I am actually sexually involved with someone else-I'm DEFINITELY more sexual with my dh. It's like.... getting it somewhere on puts me in heat for him.

Does NRE with others generally lead to less sex between primaries?
I don't handle NRE the way most people I know handle it. My autopilot reaction to NRE (of my own) is to pull away from the entity that is "new and fascinating". I don't allow myself to jump into a sexual or romantic relationship with someone unless NRE has fully abated. So this is moot I think.

If you’re into BDSM play, do you have any restrictions on BDSM with others, or does everything go?
Yes. There are restrictions. Some things are ours alone. There is the option to renegotiate every 3 months-but thus far we retain certain things between us.

If you’re into D/S play, how do you manage this with having an extremely equal relationship in all other ways? Sometimes it’s hard for either of us to let the other take control because we’re so equal in all other arenas, and both extremely independent people… it’s almost like it’s easier with someone you’re not in such a close partnership with, I’m wondering if others can relate.
We have specified D/s dynamics. So, there are specific things that don't change-for example, which side of him I walk, he always orders the food if we go out to eat, if he sets out an outfit he wants me to wear, I wear it-regardless of the plans for the day. Those remain the same NO MATTER where we are. Making them subtle reminders of our dynamic even in circumstances where I may be "in charge" or whatever.

Do you get jealous if your primary does something sexually with another partner you crave and hasn’t happened in a while? Do you talk about it, and how do you do this without them feeling you’re pressuring them into a certain sex act? Or do you just tell yourself it's none of your business because every relationship is different, and you’re glad he’s having fun?
sexual or not. If there is something I long for in our relationship and am not getting-but someone else is getting it-I get emotional.
We definitely talk about it. Because it means that there is a need in our relationship that isn't being met. It isn't pertinent really that someone else is getting it-but that we need to be getting it too.
But-as a rule of thumb-we don't discuss sexual specifics. So, more frequently this would be non-sexual things.
"Love As Thou Wilt"
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