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Old 09-10-2012, 09:49 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 6,275

While we were out and about on the date, I was so scared about what other people might think that I fear I wasn't the most attentive or considerate date.
In reality -- it's your dates thinking you are attentive and considerate that matter more to the success of the relationship than what others thing of it.

What matters to YOU could be the success of the relationship plus other things. So what does that fear speak to? Do you value social reputation a lot? Are you worried about being "poly outed?" Something else?

But I want this to work for us, and I know logically that worrying about what other people think is dumb, so how do I get over my terror of other people?
Again -- what's so terrifying of other people? What do you think they could DO to you? That could give clues toward solutions for coping.

Fall down screaming? Pee their pants? Hurl bananas? What? (I joke to keep it light, but seriously -- what?)
Also, since I've never done this before, and been in few enough monogamous dating situations that I'm still fairly inexperienced, is it reasonable to expect that most or all of the stereotypical activities couples tend to do for dates (dinner and a movie, sunset walk in the park, etc.) will work well for three people, also?

Usually best and most efficient though if you know the things YOU like to do and go to your polypeeps and go "Hey! I like to _____. Would you like to do that together? Is there stuff YOU like that you want to try doing together?"

The goal of relationships is to relate to your own people -- so... relate! You will probably relate as a trio, as various duos, etc.

You sound mostly happy but kinda bouncy, boingy with NRE.


Last edited by GalaGirl; 09-10-2012 at 09:52 PM.
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