Originally Posted by nycindie
I wasn't really talking about spontaneity with regard to things you want to do with a new partner or anything like that. I meant spontaneity in the sex act / session itself, or the time you spend doing sexual things. Like, you're making out and stat petting, or whatever, and then want to do more, but it won't just flow from one activity to another because some activities require precautions. And yeah, I know that you don't have to stop and say, "Wait a minute, let me go get the sex kit!" by being prepared and having all the condoms and Saran wrap and everything close by -- but even that makes it sort of like getting ready to bake a cake and you have to prepare your ingredients beforehand. Like those Cialis commercial where they say, "You never know when the moment is right," I like playing things by ear, and having variety. So I guess I just miss the spontaneity of stripping down and getting into whatever we want, like we did in the 70s and 80s, without worrying about equipment and barriers. Don't get me wrong, when I know that sex will happen, I am happily prepared beforehand - I guess seeing it all in B&W drives it home for me how un-spontaneous and cautious we have to be nowadays.
I hear you - other than losing my virginity and a kinda perhaps date rapey experience in my late teens, all my initial intercourse experiences with anybody have been preplanned to some extent, with STI testing and talks... Even my sexual fantasies are often ruined with a "must stop and discuss with the imaginary person that I'm poly and use condoms". UGH! Gawd...I haven't been even kind of spontaneous sexually with a new partner for 20 years , I wouldn't know how to do it.
And ha ha..I do have a container with saran wrap, dental dams, condoms, female condoms, gloves etc sitting in the bedroom ready for any instance just in case! I actually got it ready for my husband cause I didn't want him to have an excuse to not get busy with a partner for ANY of the activities on our chart if he felt like going for it. I can totally picture me saying "Wait a minute let me go get the safe sex kit" though