Still not entirely decided on nicknames. And M thinks i'm insane for wanting to give him a nickname (that alone is reason to start referring to him as the tramp
let alone the fact that he wears sweat-pants most days *shudder* i love him, but...he looks SO sexy in slightly classier clothes.)
Anyway. Been perusing the forum, and i have this tendancy to get sucked into reading threads about unicorns. Just a fascination for me - more the concept of what people are seeking etc.
Today i read one which included a link to the unicorn-hunting-guide
, which is just f**king hilarious. H and i were having a discussion about the concept of unicorns/primary relationships etc, and laughing about this chart.
But it was a wonderful discussion. Because we've both realised lately that we *were* in a long-term relationship already for several years, but because there was no sex, neither of us felt that it could BE a relationship.
It also helps to explain a lot of the reactions we've received to our friendship. Because everyones always been convinced that i was in love with H, and while i'm definitely falling in love with her now, it was only ever that deep-familial love, rather than a sexual 'i LOVE her'. and we were stuck at 'its not sexual so it can't be a relationship'. And M used to be so threatened by our friendship, which never made sense either.
So having this explanation as to what we 'are' is nice.
It also solidifies the fact that if there are three arms to a triad, then two arms (H <-> M) and (H<-> Me) are both incredibly strong, and at the moment we're just developing and strengthening the (M <-> Me) bond.
And also means there's no primary relationship.
Its a funny way to have your life-view altered. But at the same time, its reassuring, since i have had a few moments of 'am i a secondary...or a co-primary?' because there's been occasional tension between M & H, totally unrelated to me, whcih has obviously affected me too.
Not sure if i've explained that well, but if i write it down, i can come back and re-read this later when i'm feeling insecure in myself.
But yes. Things go between tense and then fine a bit. But mostly because H & M both quit smoking, so are both grumpy sh!sh-kebab's lately.
No sympathy from me. shouldn't have started smoking in the first place