Originally Posted by nycindie
I think you are confusing other types of non-monogamy with polyamory. What you've described is simply group sex. You and your partner participating in a few sexual encounters with several people isn't poly. I suggest you keep reading the forum, and perhaps look into one of the books in our recommended reading thread. Maybe poly is for you, but maybe not. It sounds like possibly swinging would fit what you and your wife are looking for much better.
I am saying our group encounter (not sex) was the trigger for me and the other woman to start talking afterwards ... and talking, and emailing, and chatting ...
For me, and I think for her, it's more than just sexual feelings.
My wife actually still says that swinging might fit her in the future ... but with anonymous people that we don't share romantic feelings with.
BTW, she says I'm not really poly, I "just have a crush on this one woman". I know I have felt similar feelings in the past towards other woman, but I've always blocked them because I thought it "wasn't right to feel these feelings". This time, I misinterperted my wife and thought "it's ok for me to feel these feelings". But now, after reading about polyamory, I find the concept very attractive ... if only it didn't cause my wife so much pain.