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Old 09-09-2012, 03:57 AM
winged winged is offline
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Land of Wind and Lakes
Posts: 5

Originally Posted by Helo View Post
I think we also need to differentiate between someone who has something that is well-managed and relatively unobtrusive in a person's life, something they may only need occasional outside help to deal with, and someone who has an untreated mental illness that significantly interferes with their life and the lives of those around them.

I would think that most people here would be alright with the former and far less so with the latter.
I think that this is my main issue with the thread title. There are many, many people who have diagnosable mental illnesses. Many of them are well-managed in some way; many of them are not. Lots of them can't even be compared. Someone with depression and someone with OCD and someone with Asperger's aren't at all the same and won't have the same problems with relationships but they all have diagnosable mental illnesses.

I don't look down on ANYONE who can't handle a situation, who knows their own boundaries or who steps away from something that isn't going well. That's GOOD.

My point is more that get any two people - even two people with the same diagnosis and similar upbringing - in a room and they'll handle a relationship differently, so generalizing isn't particularly fair. And sometimes it even helps to know that their fears or anger are caused by an irrational source.

Obviously I'm biased and it makes me sad to see people go "oh yeah, I would never date someone with a diagnosable problem", being very diagnosable myself. But it's less that someone might have an issue with that and more that by itself, being ill doesn't prevent someone from being a loving trusting partner, especially since 'mental illness' is pretty encompassing.
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