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Old 09-08-2012, 12:58 PM
birdpowers birdpowers is offline
New Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 3
Default Attachment and longing

Hello everyone, here is my dilemma:
I met this couple through a woman I was dating. Great people, alternative lifestyles, free spirited, loving, awesome children...I basically fell in love with the whole family. At first it was just total admiration and love towards them.

I started hanging out with the "husband", for lack of a better word, and we became really good friends, and to this day we work together and co-conspire on several different projects together. I also was spending quite a bit of time with the whole family, having dinner, hanging out, just having a great time.

One day on the way to a job, "Man" I will call him, told me that "Woman" wanted to get cuddly with me. Long story short, that's when I discovered they were polyamorous, and It wasn't long before there was much flirtation, and wonderful conversations about Love and all that it entails.

It has been a month or so since Woman and I, with loving permission from Man, have been seeing each other, and I am discovering that I am very vulnerable in this situation. I love them both VERY much, and we all get along super good, and have become a family, excepting they live together, and I live separate (with my own kids). There's no jealousy what so ever, but the problem I'm having is wanting to be with her more, like a typical girlfriend, and it just can't work out that way. I don't begrudge them there time together as a family, and I understand their relationship is inherently different because they have kids together and live together, but I long to have the same thing! It's hard because I'm in love with them both, but I'm having a physical relationship with Woman, and I'm feeling very attached. I guess that's the problem, my attachment? Also, whenever I express my vulnerability to Woman, she backs away, and it really hurts. I want to continue our relationship together, but I feel the need to somehow let go of my attachment to her as a "girlfriend", and just let it be what it is.

I welcome any encouragement, advise, or whatever that will possibly help open my heart up further so that I can enjoy this beautiful situation, and these beautiful people. Thanks for listening!
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