Baggage Control asked me how long it took to "luck out" and find long term partners that were a good match for me in the poly world, so here's a bit of a recap...
My ex-h and I separated in October of 2008, after 30+ years of marriage and 3 kids. He moved out. In early January of 2009, I joined ok cupid. I got a lot of attention from men right away, and almost had a date with one, but he backed out at the last minute. But soon afterwards, I met miss pixi there, PMed and IMed a lot, and met her on one of the last days in January. Our first date lasted a weekend and we were a great match, and in NRE heaven. Our connection has now lasted over 3 years.
My marriage had had such a long spiral down the toilet, I knew what I did and did not want in a lover, and she hit all the checkboxes.
All the while she and I were starting our exciting new relationship, I continued to date. Mostly men, one other woman. I had several long term relationships, lasting from 7 months to 2 years. I was new to practicing BDSM and wanted to sample that world. Since I am a switch, I dated subs, Doms and other switchy kinksters. I dated single guys, one married poly guy and even one cheating married man.
The best relationship was a playpartner/boytoy, D. He was extremely young, only just 21 when we met, but just my type. In a way, since I became exclusive with my ex h at age 19, it was a fantastic way to reclaim my own youth. D was tall, lean, well hung, great hair, smart, great way with words. He was perfect for me in bed, a real tiger, with lots of energy, imagination and stamina. When we weren't having wildcat sex, he was relaxing and comforting to be around.
However, he wanted a NSA relationship. After our first public date, we never went on another one, but just met at my house (before we sold it), or in my van in secluded spots, or in my new apartment. I could understand him not wanting me to meet his friends, I was his secret lover... our age gap was huge. He did meet miss pixi a few times and we even shared sex between us twice.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
Mags (poly, F, 60) loving miss pixi (poly, F, 38) since January 2009, living together since 2013
also loving Punk (monogamish, 42, M) since Oct 2015
"Master," (mono, 34), miss pixi's Dom for 2 years