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Old 09-08-2012, 03:27 AM
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lovefromgirl lovefromgirl is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: The Great Soggy Northeast
Posts: 353

Originally Posted by WhatHappened View Post
If calling a woman a vulgar name, like cock-blocker or pussy-blocker, because she 'stands in the way of something he wants' is really just a different paradigm, then there's no reason to object to any other man calling women vulgar names, either, whether it's because they stand in the way of those men getting what they want, or for any other reason.
Did I stammer when I said, earlier, that that sort of thing wasn't ethical? No? [edited: Or at least did I encourage that speech? Also no?] Good. Now that we're on the same page...

I think the objections that have gone on in this thread are not about anyone failing to understand someone else's differing paradigms. If he knew 25% of the people in Hollywood and dated 40 women there, then he's not some poor naive guy of a different culture who just didn't 'get' how disrespectful it is to call a woman a name like that.
I think of Hollywood and the like as insular, very different from anything I experience; yes, I think a man born and raised there could be naive. I met one myself who behaved far worse around women. Be grateful if you haven't. I think women who don't come from that background are a tremendous shock to men who do, and that PP is in for a few of those tremendous shocks. Has had a few, in fact, seeing how the women here have reacted. Nobody changes overnight. My experience with Mr. Hollywood taught me that no, respect for women is not necessarily taught there as it's taught in other environments.

It's not about being on an island -- he's an expat himself! -- as much as it is a lack of understanding of our more robust, more egalitarian women living in the middle class and below. My views are likely just as much a shock to him as his are to me, and we would never be compatible.

Since my interest is in the ethics of the matter and not in any "one true way" to do poly, all I can advise is that everything is considered carefully. Love with everyone's consent. That's the bottom line. The trappings may not be to your taste or mine, but he's got the right to try it out and see how it works.
"I swear, if we live through this somebody's going to find their automatic shower preferences reprogrammed for ice water."

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