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Old 12-11-2009, 07:52 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
Join Date: Sep 2009
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Originally Posted by redsirenn View Post
Another "needs" question:

I hear so often poly people talking about how one person can't fulfill all thier needs - thus one argument (for lack of a better word) for practicing poly.

I always think: "DUH!" Then why don't you go out there and fulfill them yourself instead of "needing" someone else to do it for you?

Any thoughts?

Fire away....
Yeah-I think it's a load of b.s. There is in fact only ONE person who can fulfil a persons needs, and that is themself. Sure there are exceptions. Right now I'm pretty damn close to full bedrest and I need someone else to help fulfil my physical needs-but that's temporary and not the same thing anyway.

When you are dealign with primary emotional needs, you need to deal with that and be sure you not only CAN but you ARE fulfilling your own needs before you drag EVEN ONE other person into your "circle of love", much less two or more! <rolling eyes>

I get SO frustrated by people who wander around feeling sorry for themself because their significant other doesn't fix all of their emotional baggage. WELL NO SHIT, it's NOT THEIR JOB.

I see that a lot as well and it's annoying.

I do see a difference between that and the conversation I was having on another thread last night about how once you have two identified, healthy, functional relationships going, not being able to imagine losing one because it seems that the three (or more of you) together are ONE entity beyond JUST your individual persons.

For me I can't imagine CHOOSING between my two men, but I don't NEED either of them to exist and be happy, secure and confident of myself.
"Love As Thou Wilt"
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