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Old 09-07-2012, 11:58 PM
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CielDuMatin CielDuMatin is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Upstate New York, USA
Posts: 1,467

Nice to see your normal level of snide hostility, BoringGuy!

Since nobody else has really posted anything serious on this topic, let me give you my opinion, for what it's worth...

I have witnessed during polyamory discussions a strong desire to distinguish polyamory from the stereotypes of polygamy and swinging. I have been guilty of doing the same. As a consequence, a strong emphasis has been put on the egalitarian style of poly, to the point where when someone comes on talking about imbalanced structures, we either dismiss them, mock them, or direct them to a different forum. There have been several recent examples of this.

I brought up the example of Hefner because it is a classic example of an imbalanced structure which has, apparently, worked well for those involved. Based on my understanding it *is* polyamory, by all the common definitions, and I think we need to acknowledge that and not be quite so dismissive.

I strongly prefer the egalitarian model of relationships - what I seek for myself. But I think that there are many other types of polyamory which work for those involved - everyone gets what they are looking for and are happy. I feel that just because *we* wouldn't be happy in that circumstance doesn't give us the right to mock and denigrate those who happen to think differently.

So my question was very serious.

"Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." - Native American Proverb
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