Hi John - I've been meaning to reply. Sorry it took so long. There are at least the 4 groups of quads posting in this thread now. I wonder if we should move the discussion out of Gary's intro thread. Though, thank you Gary for letting us use your thread to all meet
15 months in to our relationship and we're all of us still learning and still feeling things out day by day. Honeymoon period? It isn't yet over for us. To some degree, we're all still feeling the NRE, and sometimes intensely. Probably because we don't get to see each other every day. I agree! MWB's situation living across the street would be amazing! It is really hard for all of us to live so far apart. On the other hand, I think the fact that we are apart during most of the week has probably been good as it has allowed us to still have alone time to nurture our individual marriages.
We all had the talk I referred to earlier. He and I one night last weekend and my husband and her the next night. I'm happy to say we are all on the same page for our vacation together at the end of this month. My talk with him felt SO good! For me, I finally admitted to all my emotions, hopes, and fears...him as well...with both of us tearing up. It was very emotional. But I am so happy to have finally put words to everything I'd been feeling and to have everything out in the open.
As far as rules and boundaries go between the 4 of us...we don't really have any. We're just proceeding cautiously and slowly so nobody gets hurt. We do each spend the whole night with the other spouse at times, but only if the four of us are involved, each couple in separate bedrooms but the same house/hotel. In other words, we've had a couple of times when one of the four of us was away for work or something. We've found that it is okay with all of us if the remaining three get together, but at least for now, not if sex is involved...that is too hard on the fourth person who ends up feeling left out. We also DO have separate "dates" with the other spouse at times. In fact, as I write this my husband is out for lunch with the other wife and next Monday I have a lunch "date" with the other husband.
Squabbles. We haven't really dealt with that all that much. My husband and I rarely fight and never have in front of them. They've had 2 mild squabbles that we are aware of. The first time we cleared out (we were at their house) and gave them their space so they could resolve it. The second time we were just there for them and heard their concerns, but then gave them the space to talk and work it out for themselves (which they quickly did). If the situation reverses, which I'm sure it will eventually, I think we'd want them to do the same for us.
I'm happy to talk, answer questions if I can. And I'll let you all know how the trip goes. This will be the second time we've traveled together. It is SOOOOO nice to be away from home where we don't have to worry about people seeing us and knowing us and can just be ourselves together without hiding. I'm really looking forward to it.