Originally Posted by Nudibranch
To put it another way, your jealousy isn't the issue I see. I can think of a hundred reasons why I might not want to be out struggling to earn a living while my partner was playing afternoon delight. I can't imagine having, or keeping, a significant other who lacked the self-control and maturity to consider my feelings in that way.
ANd from his point of view, he can say "I can't imagine having, or keeping, a significant other who lacked the self-control and maturity to deal with her own issues and instead tried to control my other relationships."
From here, it appears the jealousy isn't the issue, it's the expectation that she gets to control his other relationships that is the issue. And I can't imagine having, or keeping, a partner who tried to use her issues to control my other relationships.
When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.
While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.