Hello! I am new here, but not really new to the poly lifestyle.
My history: I am a female and I have always been sexually attracted to men and women. It feels natural to me and I'm not ashamed of it at all. In college I was in a relationship with a guy who was really supportive of me exploring my sexuality. It wasn't for his benefit, he really wanted me to be happy. So I started dating another bi chick and I was so happy.
After college my girlfriend decided to move out of state and we ened our relationship. I havn't dated a girl since. I really believe I was falling in love with her.
Fastforward 5 years I met my now husband. He is strictly mono. I knew this when we met. Here's part of my issue: I have never told him I am attracted to women. I now know I should have been honest from the start. I thought I would be ok with only having a man. We've been married for 4 years and I do love him dearly. We have a 2yr old together.
About a a year and half ago I met Pan. At first we were friends and we hung out a lot. She is a lesbian. She knows about my past and true sexuality. I thought we could just be friends, but here latley I have deeloped a crush pn her. She has also hinted she feels the same way about me. She is awesome and soo freaking cute!
Here's my problem: my husband has no clue I am bi. I am afraid to tell him now b/c I don't know how he will react. Regardless of wether I can have a relationship with Pan I feel the need to be honest with my husband. I am not willing to leave my husband for her. We have too much history, responsibility, and love. I really regret not being honest with him at the beginning.
I don't know what to do. I did tell Pan we cannot hang out alone for a while b/c I am really attracted to her. Do I tell my husband or so I stop my friendship now and be more careful in the future with women?