RP....sorry I'm a bit late to the discussion. Like you, I myself feel that I could not get by without my two wonderful women and our "V". They are the perfect compliment to eachother and my life. We all three benefit from eachother in some way everyday. Life wouldn't be the same for any of us, without the whole.
With regards to rediscovery, of my wife and how good it can be....I would say it seems to depend greatly on where she is, with regards to the "V" on any given day. Sometimes she admits she still feels badly/lonely on the nights I am with my OSO and not her....then there are other days where she's happily arranging mine/my OSO's schedule so she knows we'll have a great time that night whilst she's off to a chick flick by herself.
On those days she's troubled, I find it hard to be intimate with her because of guilt. On the good days, I love her all the more because she's so giving of her time and love to the "V". She desperately wants us all to be happy, even if it means there's times she's not completely with the program. Does that make sense?