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  #20  
Old 09-07-2012, 12:47 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is online now
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Join Date: Jun 2012
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I'm sorry.

You were just emotionally catching up to the concept of them dating, and now he goes and crosses boundaries you guys put in place and agreed to and you are emotionally upset again.

And why spring this on you while you are trying to get to sleep/get to work times? This is NOT the best times for relationship management conversation. It can fuck up your sleep and it can fuck up your performance at work. (This may need to be a limit thing.)

When you talk to him about all this, one technique could be reframing it in the positive since he can't hack it framed the other way. For instance, instead of saying "Do not have sex in our bed" say "Sex in bed is off limits. Sex on couch ok. Sex at her house is ok." Everything that IS. Because that tells him where to go that is ok. So go THERE already... where it is ok to go.

If you tell someone they can't have the OJ and leave it there, it's not telling what they CAN have out of your fridge to drink. Much easier to go "OJ is off limits. Have milk is ok. Have soda is ok. Have tea is ok."

But in my universe, that's a 1 strike. He's gotta straighten up because it's 3 strikes you are out on the same issue. The boundary breaking problem. (And I hope he's wearing a condom!)

GG

Last edited by GalaGirl; 09-07-2012 at 05:01 PM.
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