Thread: Safe Sex
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Old 09-07-2012, 03:23 AM
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Anneintherain Anneintherain is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Seattle-ish
Posts: 826

We have a table I made up, with STI's along the top and activities with any risk factors along the side. Where they meet it says what protection needs to be used for that combo, be it condoms, gloves, if the activity isn't OK at all risk wise, or if no protection needs to be used for it.

This made us take a really good look at risks and what we were willing to accept risking bringing home to the other. Although it's not everyday dinner talk to say "Hey I can send you our safe sex agreement chart if you would like to know the specifics" it does make it perfectly clear what somebody can or cant expect from us (including knowing what will change if they get an STI on the list that they don't currently have) and they'll also know what risks we will take with other partners. It makes it easier to ask if there's anything not clear for them too.

A bit odd, but I know my husband can't remember all that stuff, and we've changed our mind about some things over the last year, so having a hard copy helps keep track of it, and keeps misunderstandings from happening, as well as that whole "I really like this person so I want to make different rules to apply to them than we discussed" in the heat of the moment. I don't mind the weirdness of it, and I like the idea that any metamours will be able to know what the addition of either of us brings risk wise to the table too.
Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.
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