Hi Brass Valkyrie,
Welcome to our forum.
It is totally up to you to decide whether polyamory is the lovestyle for you; some people are "naturally monogamous" and that's okay.
Don't worry too much about making things exactly equal between you, J, and C. Triads are rarely "perfectly balanced."
I hope your time spent here on Polyamory.com will give you a better idea about how to approach things, and that you'll find new friends. There is so much to read here, and so many people to meet.
Glad you could be here; hope your relationships work out well.
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"