heyla and welcome!!
wow, you sound very much the way I did when the damn finally burst for me and I had to face some realizations about myself about 6 or 7 years ago, its never easy going through change when you already have a partner but its oh so wonderful when they try to be and eventually can be accepting of what you've discovered about yourself
all terms aside, it is so nice to know their are others out here whom love many and not feel alone and confused in that respect, suppresion is not good for anyone
it sounds like your handling it beautifully, going to your lady, telling her how you feel and she isn't running screaming or tossing you out, thats wonderful, hope you can continue to travel this new road together
wherever you go from here or how slowly you decide to travel there, i wish you nothing but goodness and send you happy thoughts, good luck to you and your lady