Now, on the dawn of a year of being together all three of us I find it hard to separate the two of them in my mind. They make up one whole relationship to me... much like having roommates for a year. The thought of either of them going just doesn't fit. The whole thing would collapse without three. I doubt I can go back to it just being my husband and I and I can't see being with Mono without my husband.
That's funny! I am struggling. There is a pet name that I've called GG for years. It came up in the midst of the worst parts of the mess between Maca and I. It's "made up". Not "honey" or "baby" or whatever.
Anyway-in my MIND-the deeper part of my mind-the name MEANS "my love" crossed with "my heaven" or "my security" and "my safety"...
Anyway-as I said it's not a REAL word, so I guess I should just sit my ass down and write a definition!
But anyway-I have caught myself calling Maca that-like just "slipping out" but I'm not THINKING about GG when I do it, the "problem" is that I'm feeling that Maca is those things now too.
Only-I feel sort of guilty-because that term of endearment is very special to GG and I don't want him to feel like it's anything less because it's being "shared" and I don't think he'd PREFER it to be shared
Maca wouldn't prefer that I use "GG's" nickname for him....
How do I explain to them that it's NOT what they think it is...
It's that they are one in my mind in many ways-and more ways every day...
I guess by telling them to read this thread huh RP?