This is not really the place to be discussing creation of a bdsm household. Although we do have a good many kinky polyfolk here, discussion of the type of household you describe isn't really on topic on these boards.
I'll suggest FetLife for this particular discussion.
When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.
While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.