Originally Posted by GalaGirl
You have been thru my suggestions and other people's and explaining why not so or not yet.
How about making a post listing CAN DO NOWS then? To help your mindset? And sort some of those others into piles of "DO THIS YEAR" and "DO NEXT YEAR" or whenever the time break out is. Then you can feel better knowing some things WILL come down the pipeline for you. Like NOW, medium and longer out things for yourself.
Now I can;
-Take more time for myself. I may need to ask for this time, but he will not deny it; he knows I need it.
-Learn to focus on the positive things in life. He has other partners, but he comes home to me.
-Learn what the root of my jealousy is. No one can do this for me, but I can do it myself, no matter how long it takes.
This year I can;
-Work on the above.
-Make noticeable progress. I made the decision when asked for him to move up one of his dates, though it was for my own benefit, even though bringing it closer made me uncomfortable. Before, I would not have considered it.
-Network online. This is not something I really want to do, I guess. I'm awkward with people, and I don't really want to make a bunch of friends on the basis of, we all have kids. It does seem harder to make friends online, locally, based on other interests, though. It's not like I can (well, COULD, but I doubt they'd appreciate it) bring my four month old baby to political functions, even if I get get there and back.
I really don't know.
Next year I can;
-Hopefully visit family. I did this in December when I was pregnant, and it helped me to see how much I wanted to be back home with my boyfriend, though I did enjoy the trip. This was at a point in our relationship when I was scared, and had been contemplating leaving. When I left, he was making jokes that I may decide not to come back.
-Go out more often as our son's need to nurse as frequently is reduced.
-Perhaps be comfortable having a friend (assuming I have made one, or someone I used to work with wants to) watch the baby now and then, giving his father and I some time actually to ourselves, as opposed to our current once-weekly date nights, obviously with the baby, at home.
This needs more work. I'm not good at this sort of thing.
Originally Posted by GalaGirl
I haven't thought about baby land in a while -- thanks for the nostalgia visit.
But you hang in there at the front end of your parenting journey -- take deep breaths and remember you tend not just a baby but YOUR buckets too -- mental health, emotional health, physical health, spiritual health.
Put your OWN oxygen mask on first. Otherwise you can't help anyone else well much less yourself.
You're welcome, and thank you. I think I need that reminder more often. More times than I like to admit, I have forgotten a meal because the baby just wanted so much attention. I can't feed him if I am not eating well myself.
Originally Posted by LovingRadiance
Its critical for baby and daddy to bond. Like gg said, if 30 min is his comfort zone now, do that a cpl times each evening this week, bext week, 40 min twice an evening.
I also found that if I put a nursing blanket between me and baby when feeding, then gAve it to daddy, baby was calmer. This worked well with the preemie I Watched also. Mommy slept with a nursing blanket tucked inside her clothes, then gave it to me when she dropped baby off. Baby smelled mommy and was calmed.
The blanket thing is something I need to do more often, definitely. I'll try to remember that.