Originally Posted by SNeacail
Because a week is sooooo much longer than a day or two.
Start thinking in months. To me only a few weeks would seem instant.
I am well aware of that. My point was that I didn't just meet someone and then that same day say we were "in a relationship". It took well over 2 weeks for us to come to the conclusion that we were both interested in moving forward. I wasn't jumping into a full blown LTR with the guy, just saying I was pursuing it.
I would also like to point out, my time line is not your time line. Not saying it won't take months or even years (I expect it will), just saying we all opporate differently and are not all on the same path. I don't assume anything about anyone until I am with them and getting to know them. I didn't change my statuses all over the place, I simply changed what I was looking for. My husband has the most horrible sense of time, seriously. Something (to him) happened weeks ago, actually happened hours ago, and other things (to him) happened instantly, while they took weeks
Venting is OK, even online, but you have to remember, that people will call you on your shit, even if your "just venting". If we are completely unreasonable and unfair during a vent, that can translate into being unreasonable when it actually comes time to find a solution. However, it does help to write it all out, read it and re-read it to see WHERE you are being unreasonable or unfair to your partner. If anonymous people are "taking things wrong" in one of your posts, it is very possible, that your spouse will "take it wrong" also, when you eventually say it out loud. Think of it as a lesson in effective communication. Seriously, this happens at my house all the time. Each of us THINKS we are communicating clearly, only to realize too late, that the other person heard/understood something completely different (different galaxy different). Learning how to communicate well takes practice, which unfortunately also means you screw it up and have to try again and again and again...
I have no problem with being called out on my shit, because if I am in the wrong, there is no two ways about it. However, I do have to say that what Storm and I talk about in person, is vastly better than what is posted online. I hope people get what I am saying, that we don't post everything here, nor do we resolve anything between us here. Quite often we discuss things to post here before we do, but then sometimes we post without talking first.
My point is, we do communicate very well. Some things
may be misunderstood or misspoke, but we do have very effective communication skills. Our counselors have all said it, we communicate very effectively. It's just the anger or hurt that needs work - don't assume everything is black and white, because we all know there are many shades of grey.