Quick question-does the partner YOU feel like you are neglecting, feel like you are neglecting him?
I ask this-because I have a similar situation-but my boyfriend doesn't USUALLY feel that way about it. He treasures the private time and he enjoys the "Just here" time too.
So, I have to be sure to allow HIM to tell me if he feels like he needs something from me. That's his responsibility. Instead of me worrying about it all of the time..
Being a hinge is hard work-but its a lot easier if we allow our partners to do their own "dirt work"...
"Love As Thou Wilt"