Well since the night of our HUGE fight I've tried to stay off here, mainly not wanting to loose it and get myself banned
As Glitter said I read her posts anyways since she would usually mention she posted something and if I wanted to come on to read it. In our case shes right here so we try to talk about things without making it into a online daytime drama like before lol.
So... even with my feelings of hating Poly, I did feel bad for her feelings when S (Music or whatever she was calling him now) opened his mouth about how she should dump me causing her to just end it on the spot with him.
Further without any mention of Poly my stress level has gone way down and been feeling pretty damn good but... I know that is still what Glitter wants and in a way since it's open for her I would also love to have some good feelings, be it either more sex or fetishes or a love relationship too.
I've also missed how fucking damn good she felt, self-confident, aggressive, etc when she was talking to guys, looking for someone to go out with etc. This even more so since as we opened the door to Poly we also opened the door to other fetishes/lifestyles and the fetish side in me bloody misses that D-side of her
I'm thankful I was given a break and truly HOPE with the poly stuff continuing it will actually go slow this time. ie common sense, friends first, several dates before that OMG I'm so totally in luv feeling takes her over again. She mentioned someone suggested 1 year before considering someone moving in and also maybe hold off on sex till something which is longer than typically the first date no mater "if it counted or not" *ducks*
I'm not sure sure if it was ever covered but to explain what I mean by slower...
What happened with S & P (Music and Petal) not sure how many days Glitter talked with Music, I think only a couple. Lets say Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday. On Friday they travel in to meet us at our home and have dinner. They act surprised and say they never do this but would we at all be interested in going to their place for the weekend till Monday.
Saturday was very casual and that night Glitter and I talked well how would you feel if... revolving around sex. Glitter says shes really into Music. I said find Petal very attractive and what if she wanted sex? Do I? Do I say no? Basically how are we both feeling about this. If I can obviously Glitter can with Music too. We both agreed if it happens it happens. I still was unsure about Petal but still don't know basically is she a slut based on how she talks and her actions. Twice saying she could get Music a pretty good discount on work done for his car but "but aside from flirting you know I might have to..." (using hand gestures for a blowjob and intercourse) this was after our talk about if sex was ok and pretty much closed off any chance that on my side! At least at that time till I new Petal better.
Now I may be wrong but from my perspective by the time we came home on Monday we were both questioning how good things could be. While at the same time if it'll work out, if they will stay together, if they break up how will that effect us. Then on Tuesday it seemed like Glitter was fully in relationship mode. She changed her profile statuses, updating she has found someone and no longer looking.
So in "taking it slower this time" I mean chat, chat a few times, then if it goes well meet (possibly with BOTH Glitter and I on the first time), then start talking about dates... BEFORE either of us considers it a "relationship" because we are overwhelmed with NRE and thinks OMG this is THE ONE!
We never talked about this but perhaps since we're poly maybe we should both meet whoever a secondary is on the first meeting so they know with me my Wife is part of the picture! For Glitter her Husband is part of the picture! Maybe lessen the chance of being told you should dump your spouse cause I'm SO MUCH better! Which has royally PISSED Glitter off now since it's 2 for 2 with men she had feelings for then to be told maybe she could dump the husband cause they really like her.
I admit being back open to Poly feels like adding a +1 to the stress level (in the thinking how will she handle it this time, will she always fall so hard) but who knows once I even have a few friends if not even a relationship I'm hoping and provided we keep our primary relationship healthy and ALWAYS working on the nasty lil kinks it'll balance out for me in the end.
We went over all our boundaries once again, changing any as needed, adding others. One thing I needed to know what what are We, Myself and She is looking for now?
Is another couple still on the table?
Are we only looking for someone suitable for ourselves?
Could there be one Bi M or F for both of us? (since we are both Bi-curious)
We are both bi-curious. I only for sexually aspects, not sure what she would want/need out of it. Since she is also enjoying learning to be more Dom I suggested maybe a younger bi sub male would work out for both of us. I know heading into that Unicorn thinking now and this might be leading into something more fitting for Fetlife than here.
*shrugs* Honestly I admit it has come up almost every time when I ask her "do you think he's bi?"
I guess in my thinking it would be so much easier having only one extra person added to our relationship. At least for now since this is still all so new. It would be bad enough with both of us totally straight and each seeking one of the opposite sex or a couple. I think we both agree we really want to settle the "curious" part in this lifetime LOL.
Ugh it's difficult enough dealing with the way it changes a mono relationship with adding a M for her, F for me or a Cpl for us both. Now add wanting to try a M with me, a F with her. If we form additional relationships with partners in a polyfidelity structure. Then want to explore or add same-sex partners after that how will our first secondaries feel about trying others to settle our curiosities and if those then form into new secondary relationships how would they feel about each other. Would any want to also be involved with each other, how would that effect the feelings of everyone else, etc. I know Polyamory can include many partners and a bigger family. Can ya tell I'm TOO OCD and LOGICAL!? The relationship dynamics makes my head spin LOL :P
Anyways... Not a rant, I actually am still keeping this good mood going for days now without any major drops mood wise.
Kinda leaning to really suggesting we maybe get a lil sampler of sauces to try which we like and on what foods
before we we get dinged for the total price for a bigger long-term size jars of just one sauce for each of us.