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Old 12-11-2009, 06:53 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 5,510

It seems when a new person enters a poly relationship that it is as if the relationship between the two (or more) that were already there goes through a period of time where they are starting all over again... get to know each other all over again in terms of another being a part of the dynamic.

The feelings I had at the beginning of my relationship with my husband started again at the same time as I went through the beginning stages of my relationship with Mono.

I remember looking at my husband and wondering intently what he was thinking and going through, how he saw himself in our relationship and what his roll now was in my life. I wondered how much he loved me and our sex life changed as I rediscovered things I like and new things I like. We adjusted our time together to incorporate a new person and everything between us just seemed new... as it does when a new relationship starts.
Yes, I know it's been bizarre reading about everyone's "NRE" because I'm not really there-in that way.
When I told Maca I was poly and that our relationship was changing, I fully expected him to leave (yes I know very different from your situation). I was devastated by the idea-but knew I had to get my life straightened out so I could be REAL again.
As you know-Maca stayed, but I didn't expect he and I to go through NRE with each other! THAT wasn't anywhere in the stuff I read. But that's exactly what happened!

GG and I have a good, solid, loving, secure relationship. There isn't the up and down drama that there has been between Maca and I. We've had a few downs in the time since that letter-but not really pertinent to the "poly" world. More pertinent to dealing with my neck and needing him to be more "in charge" when I just can't. Touchy topic-because usually I have my way of wanting it done and prefer to do it myself. But we haven't had any NRE either...

Maca and I on the other hand have found new things we love about each other, new things in sex we didn't know how to do... all sorts of weird stuff like that and it's like we can't wait to talk each day about what's new THAT day with US!

I feel guilty sometimes cause I feel like GG gets left out a bit-but at the same time, we're not floundering in our relationship (GG & I). We're just.......well we're just the same mostly! Nothing bad about that either. There are little changes, like we don't get as much time together as we did before (weird I know) but that's more to do with his new job, not so much the new dynamic.

I fell in love with Maca again and in a whole new way-and it has everything to do with being able to be in love with GG without feeling like a whore......
"Love As Thou Wilt"
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