We're already beginning to have more productive communication, thanks to the info I've been directed to here.
One of the "side-effects" of polyamory and similar non-monogamous situations that I've noticed people talking about is that (a) there's less room for coasting/BS in your relationships and (b) you can't do it without *really* learning to communicate non-defensively.
Those both sound pretty great (and challenging) to me.
So *baby step* compromises on both our parts and building good communication about sensitive topics are on the menu right now.
I can't expect my partner to be ultimately ok with everything, I just have to have some faith that if we both try to grow and compromise, we'll have a much better chance at a happy solution.