I am feeling great and doing really fine. I have had some moments of inner calm and pure bliss occasionally over the past weeks that can be summed up by “Life is awesome, love is awesome, my little family is awesome!”. Therefore I didn't quite know how to update this blog, as there was nothing of importance happening at all during this time. But I will try to pick the important poly-improvements and write about them.
One of the most notable ones was that the sex topic isn't one any longer. The penny finally dropped as it seems, for all of us. There has been some uneasiness around mentioning 'See you later, I will spend some private time with X now.' Me mentioning it towards the one staying behind and them receiving it. This totally vanished. Since there is 'sex for a reason' with Sward ( aka baby-making
) Lin became totally cool with us leaving the room, even if it isn't for that purpose. Sward was never the one having huge problems with Lin's and my physical side of our relationship and I don't really know when he reached his calm place in regard to this. I am still thinking about the 'appropriateness' of really telling them about it, but that is just a second. I still feel kind of weird when I just leave the room and not say a word at all (Lin doesn't really like to be informed especially and of course I respect that) while passing by the one 'staying behind'. But I wasn't able to sense any tension afterwards for some weeks. We reached a place of comfort there as it seems.
The rest were more little things. Like listening to the men watching some TV shows I am not that into and hearing their laughter (similar sense of humor
), Lin catching up on the cooking front what lead to him and I nearly sharing the cooking 50-50 by now, them thinking about our possibilities of building a house in some years time, thinking about the changes a child may mean for us, just the usual evening talks when Sward comes home and all three of us just lounge on the sofa to hear about the days of the others and so on.
It's so peaceful, secure and warm in our little flat. I am starting to lead a real solitary life because I just love being at home. I know this will change a bit when my seminars start again in October, but since then, I am just writing my papers, enjoying my 24/7 houseman Lin and cuddle excessively with Sward to create our own little wonder, who will hopefully be with us some time next year. I can't complain at all right now, I love my life and can't imagine it to be any other way anymore. I am happy
Facts: 30, female, bi, v-type relationship with Sward (husband, straight, mono) and Lin (boyfriend, straight, mono), poly-fi and co-primary.