Yes -- child development is what it is at the pace it is.
And no, you do not need to torture baby. But allowing baby to be feel a tiny bit "ack!" and THEN coming in to solve? That isn't torture. That is helping baby grow their "I can handle this!" bucket.
I used to have DH hold the baby and just sit besides them and would pat her. Yes, I'm gonna hold ya an nurse ya. Yes, I'm not gonna abandon ya. But NO I'm not gonna immediately pick you up EVERY time. Most times yes, Other times no.
We are learning things. I am right here, in line of sight first. We're gonna count to 3 first. THEN I will pick you up and do what I gotta. Counting out 1 mississippi, 2 mississippi, 3 mississippi is not baby torture.
I know she didn't know language at all but counting out loud to 3 before doing the thing is a pre-step to teaching her patience.
Later it came in very handy to have her know that when I finish the "mini ritual" of counting out loud to 3 she would get her thing, whatever it is. Oh, how I laugh remembering toddler her trying to "Count to 3 for patience" -- because then it changed from ME doing the count to HER doing it. She use to count it like "wun-do-FREE!" just to get it over with faster. LOL. For a while I took that. Then raised the bar a tiny squinch more.
It became the small stretch to go "Wuuuuuuunnnnnnn. Dooooooooooooo. FREEEEEEEEEEEE." the first time because I'd make her count it again if she gave it a lick and a promise "wun-do-free" thing.
Those baby layerings make it easier to grow to counting to 10, or to 20 for later down in older toddler land and preschool land for things like patience or discipline time outs or hell -- counting skills for premath at school!
I haven't thought about baby land in a while -- thanks for the nostalgia visit.
But you hang in there at the front end of your parenting journey -- take deep breaths and remember you tend not just a baby but YOUR buckets too -- mental health, emotional health, physical health, spiritual health.
Put your OWN oxygen mask on first. Otherwise you can't help anyone else well much less yourself.