Originally Posted by Vinccenzo
It seems to all be set up with this notion of you know best for all involved.
GF/soon to be wife? You mention her "ancient" culture and poor English standing in the way of your oh so much more enlightened poly dreams. A lot of things will need to be hashed out to come to some agreement between the two of you. Of course none of this was necessary prior to setting up house (yours) and having a child. Now its your way or she's out.
You want your rules in your house with your girls. Maybe after some time is put in some bending could be negotiated? You shacked up and made a baby and NOW want to renegotiate with her or your "generous enabling" dries up and she is out. No wonder she had a break down.
You are telling people you're not a chauvinist. I don't think its the root either here as you chortle about tossing pittance to people you look down on. Oh they can clean your house and nanny about and you're so mature. Its not about thinking women are lesser. Its about an entitled nature. Want girls? $$$$ They will have needs. $$$$ They might want things you won't like! $$$$ is your enforcer to squash that nonsense. It makes much sense why you left BH. You were just another fish there.
It will be your way or the highway because $$$ is what makes right in your dream world and that's the stink I smelled in this thread from go. No love. No generosity. No poly. You talk of taking care of your "girls" when all you will be doing is turning them into live in prostitutes.
Thanks, I appreciate your post. You are 100% right. About them becoming prostitutes, I'm not interested in that at all. I don't want to get anything from them unless they are interested in me as a person. I'm just saying I'm able to give them a really great ride with my support. No job unless they want one, and fun fun fun. Sex, optionally for those comfortable with it. Really it turns me off to be even talking about sex because that's not what I'm interested in with all this. This is about me wanting to share affection and intimacy with more than one person. Period. That's what it's about. If I could go back and not tell you anything about how I am able to treat them nicely I guess I would because you guys are turning it into that I expect something in return. No, I'm just saying that's a layer on top I have and am more than willing to offer to them. I don't get what the big deal is about that. I'm not asking them to pay me a share of a yacht. If I have a yacht, they can enjoy it too. Why is it wrong to not ask them to pay for it? If I have things to share, I will share them. If they don't want it because they are afraid it will obligate them, good for them. Maybe in time they will see that's not important to me, that I am not looking for anything in return... that I enjoy sharing all the fun elements of life I am able to offer other people. It makes me happy to make others happy. I believe that's called compersion.